How to Fold An Aardvark

All your aardvark needs solved

K. A. Laity

Few problems disrupt modern life more than what to do with your aardvark when you are short of space. Folding your aardvark will not only help you master a valuable skill but also create more room for your pencils, ottomans and toadstools.

  1. Grasp your aardvark by the collar. If it does not have a collar, see if it has a cravat.
  2.  Locate the central area of the beast by poking it gently in the nether regions.
  3. Draw a dotted line to give yourself a visual reference for the folding motion.
  4. Warm up your arm for the folding action by hoisting a few glasses of gin, but not more than three.
  5. Gently take hold of the opposite end of the aardvark.
  6. Fold the opposite end toward the collar/cravat end.
  7. Repeat as needed and then file the folded aardvark under the appropriate letter or in some out of the way crevice.

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